Blindfolds, or new eyes?

by Stacy Brice of Virtualosophy

This post was inspired by Lauray, whose comment to to this post (also posted here, which is why I’m posting this follow-up here), in part said:

Blindfolds - what a concept! They could sure remove much of the prejudice in the world today, don’t you think?

For some reason, her comment sparked a memory for me, and here it is: Almost ten years ago, I was still a student at Coach U. One of the required class modules at the time was called “Buff.”Like the rest of the modules, this one had been put together by Thomas, and boy did it reflect who he was.

In the class, we were to explore a program we could do with our coaching clients. The idea was to have them take an assessment that would show them how great (buff) their lives could be if they raised their standards significantly.

He’d added in things that were important to him, like, only sleeping on high-thread count or Egyptian cotton sheets, only drinking filtered water, getting a massage every week, and having your car cleaned professionally every other week (Hey! I found it online… go check it out!).

At the time, I’d recently fired Thomas as a client, I was not feelin’ the love about having to do a class where his opinion about how I was to create a perfect life reigned supreme, and I went in to the class feeling oh-so-resistant, and annoyed that I had to even be there. When I showed up for the first call, people were already on the bridge with our instructor.

Judy was someone I didn’t know (yet!), and through the lens caused by my resistance and attitude, as I listened to her talk, I thought, “This woman sounds drunk! There’s no way a drunken woman could be a CU instructor…and leading BUFF!!!” I snorted and kept myself on mute as she began the class.

During her introduction she said, “Many of you don’t know me, and may be wondering why I sound the way I do. It’s because I have MS, and today isn’t a very good voice day.”

On my side of the phone I immediately burst into tears. I felt so horrible for having judged her and found her lacking. What kind of person WAS I? Judy went on to say that although the Buff assessment was written with Thomas’ ideas about what was buff, she invited us all to change it to reflect what was buff for us.

My resistance to the class melted away and was replaced with amazing gratitude for this woman. I remembered thinking at the time that maybe I’d actually take something worthwhile away from the class. And I did. Judy and I became friends, and I’ve always been grateful for that experience.

But there was more…. She told us that, for instance, for her, most of the stuff on the assessment wasn’t important. She said, “If I can get out of bed and into my wheelchair without falling on the floor, that’s Buff!”

How much does that idea put things in the right perspective, huh? I’ve never been the same since she shared that.

She also coached us all to see things with new eyes. She said, “The next time you see a young guy with green hair, 50 piercings, and clothes you don’t understand, instead of judging him as a freak, or wondering about his parents’ involvement in his life, look at him admiringly and say, ‘Wow… look at that green hair/piercings/funky clothes… HOW BUFF!‘”

Throughout the four weeks we spent together doing the class, we all got in the groove of celebrating the big, small, fabulous, and ordinary in each other’s lives by calling out “HOW BUFF!” It changed my life.

It was also life changing when I called Judy after our first class and admitted to her how I’d judged her. She was so amazingly loving, gracious, compassionate, and accepting of me (HOW BUFF!), and I think about that every time I’m in a similar situation with someone else.

And while I’m not always great about not inwardly looking askance at the boys with the green hair or the pants hanging off their bums, more times than not, “HOW BUFF!” rings through my head, and I smile.

So, maybe it’s not that blindfolds are needed, so much. Maybe what’s really needed are new eyes through which to see the folks (and situations) around us. If we consciously admired people for their differences, rather than wanting to put them down or see them as lacking, maybe things in this world really would change in wonderful ways. HOW BUFF!