Historians would have you believe Americans tend to measure their worth by work output — a belief that dates to the Calvinist work ethic. And some would say that our work ethic has become an overwork ethic.
The reality is that most organizations and colleagues can, will, and should survive without you. I tested this theory several years ago when we rented a simple cabin in Maine with no telephone — even the cellphone didn’t work. I planned to call in for messages midway to deal with the usual crises, but the only message I got was from workmates happily wishing me a fun vacation. That week I realized with mixed emotions that life at the office could continue without me.
Thankfully, this is not a book solely about regrets. O’Kelly quit his job within days of his diagnosis and set about managing his own good death — and living his life anew. It was hard, emotional work that did not at first come easily to him.
He decided to say good-bye first to 1,000 acquaintances, business contacts, and friends, then do so with his closest friends and family. He called these “unwindings.” But he quickly realized that he was spending too much time focusing on his outer circles — just as he had in the past. So he began spending more time with those he loved most.
In particular, he sought to restore to his life several qualities he had shunned as a businessman — spontaneity, patient acceptance of the uncontrollable, and an uncluttered awareness of each moment. To his surprise, this new mindset seemed to slow time down. Rather than rushing through life fixated on goals, he gained a richer perspective from savoring the present, especially uncluttered small, everyday times.
Life at work can proceed without you.
Budget your time.
Balance your act.
Savor the present.
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Enjoyed reading your post…and yes, I’m happy to tell you of my vacation. On June 27th, my husband, Jerry, and I will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. Our children are throwing a dinner reception this week on the 22nd, and on the 30th all our children and several friends are joining us on an Alaskan cruise. Quite a vacation this year. :)
Blessings.
Shirley, that’s sounds wonderful.
We have a joint family graduation party this weekend, one that has been in the planning for three years. Then vacation comes shortly after as I’ll be off the week of the 4th of July. We’ll visit with some good family friends in central PA and possibly make a visit to West Point to see the 4th celebration there. The rest of my vacation time this year is spread around with a few long weekends during the summer, another one in the fall and then of course, some time around the yearend holidays.
We did a Carribean cruise once. Let me know how the Alaskan one goes! Maybe you can post some pictures?
Thanks for the reminder Steve, and thanks for sharing your story Shirley. All of this sounds wonderful, and I’m looking forward to a bit of time in Salt Lake City for a conference in the beginning of July, some time in Seattle at the end of July for my brother’s wedding, and maybe a bit of time in the beginning of July for a “real” vacation. Let’s all share some pictures of vacations, to remind us of how wonderful they can be!