That Wonderful, Terrible Word

[The scene fades-in, accompanied by the sound of old door hinges creaking] We see a dim, high-ceilinged, stone-walled room. An ancient wooden writing desk in the foreground has a corroded brass candlestick with a nearly exhausted, sputtering candle that glows feebly, providing just enough light to see. All visible walls are covered by tall carved bookshelves, filled with dusty leather-bound tomes in various obscure languages. A large, dog-eared volume is spread open upon the desk. The pages are covered by incomprehensible runes and illustrations. Rain hammers against narrow, mullioned windows, occasionally illuminated by blinding flashes of lightning accompanied by rolling thunder. Distant, droll organ music is playing.

[Begin voiceover with deep, sombre tones] There is a word, ladies and gentlemen; a word that, when it is articulated, can strike fear into the hearts and minds of even the most bold and valiant. A word so mighty, so evocative, that when used at the appropriate moment, has the power to reduce even the most capable and self-assured individual to a disgusting, gelatinous mass of quivering protoplasm.

Yes, my friends, be afraid… be very afraid. The word is… [music suddenly crescendos] commitment! [cue lightning bolt, crash of thunder, prolonged anguished scream]

OK, enough with the dramatics, already! Let’s get practical here. What is it, I ask you, about commitment that strikes fear into the hearts of the most courageous people? And why does making a commitment seem to have the power to make otherwise sane and reasonable people run screaming into the night, gibbering wildly about overwhelming doubts, worries and fears?

Why does commitment get such a bad rap, anyway?

One of Mrs. MZM’s favorite movies (and mine too for that matter – shhh, don’t tell) is the 1995 remake of the movie Sabrina, starring Harrison Ford. There’s a particularly telling scene in which David, the “lesser” Larrabee brother is expressing grave doubts to Linus (the elder brother and bazillionaire CEO of the Larrabee Company) about David’s upcoming marriage to the beautiful Elizabeth, a pediatrician.

DAVID: I can’t do this, Linus. I’m not ready to make this kind of commitment.

LINUS: Ah, I see. She must have asked you for an actual wedding date.

DAVID: I don’t know what came over me. She was healing children, I was in a tuxedo - I’m not in any position to take care of a wife!

LINUS: Elizabeth is a doctor and a millionaire, David. She won’t be a burden.

It’s funny because in Hollywood- and TV-land, commitment is almost always associated with marriage. And inevitably the stereotype is the man who is deathly afraid of it, as if it were the onset of e. bola or something. Now we all know how movies and TV reflect the REAL world, don’t we (wink, wink). I wonder, though - could you still find yourself thinking of commitment in terms of the common stereotypes? I know I’ve been guilty.

But (and that’s a really BIG but) have you ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe, commitment can be the key to – well, just about everything? (Cue the hysterical audience laughter.) No, I’m serious! The problem, I think, is that too often we think of the word commitment only in negative terms: pain, exertion, discipline, struggle – the list goes on and on. I mean, who wants anything to do with that? Yuk!

But what about those OTHER words linked to commitment? Words like accomplishment, triumph, achievement, success? Sound pretty good, don’t they? I could go on… but the fact is, you can’t have the latter without the former. Here’s a couple of examples:

In Relaxed… or Complacent?, I referred to a Scientific American article about how people become experts (we can no longer define it as “person from out of town, carrying a briefcase”). The article’s conclusion: experts are made, not born. Now I know that comes as something of a non-surprise to most people. How do I know that? Because whether we are willing to admit it or not, deep down inside most of us know that doing something really, really well requires effort, dedication, and… (can I get an ‘amen’ here?) commitment.

In another post, Turning Dreams Into Goals, I related the story of a young man who joined the Air Force specifically to become an air traffic controller. My point wasn’t that he was able to actually turn his dreams into goals (although that certainly was a huge part of it of the story). It was that the key step to accomplishing his dream was… yep, you guessed it – commitment. (Wow, you guys are really catching on!)

So here’s the million dollar question – what the heck; here’s several: Have you ever found yourself wondering what your great contribution to Life on This Planet is? Do you ever wish you could do something Lasting? Are there things on your wish list you would really like to see Happen? Is there a Dream floating around the back of your mind that if you could only…? You get the picture.

The key to all of the above: commitment.

Let’s go back to the previously mentioned scene from Sabrina. Linus has finally had enough of David’s lack of commitment, and where it’s gotten him in life (actually, where it hasn’t gotten him, but you get the point), and is in the process of telling him off.

LINUS: My life makes your life possible!

DAVID: I resent that!

LINUS: So do I! Look at yourself! You went to law school; you never took the bar. You went to business school; I can’t get you near the office. You studied languages you don’t speak; instruments you don’t play. You have a series of girlfriends you never see more than twice. Do you not see a pattern here?

DAVID: Who are you to lecture me about closeness? Your idea of a long term relationship is giving your date time to order dessert!

LINUS: I don’t have time for dessert; I’m too busy with this company. You’re a grown man David. Finish something! 

And from that little scene comes perhaps the most profound statement about commitment ever. Yep, it comes down to that one little thing, doesn’t it? Go back for a moment to those million-dollar questions we looked at earlier.

You want more out of life than just wishes, dreams or empty words? You want to be able to look back with that wonderful sense of accomplishment, knowing that something you wanted to do actually got done? Well, as I said back at the beginning of this little essay, the key to just about everything can be summed up in just one word: commitment.

And, you want to know the key to commitment? Two little words:

Finish something!

Robert Hruzek is the owner and sole proprieter of Middle Zone Musings.