Raising The Bar

I’m bound and determined to make 2008 the year I really jump into 100 bloggers. I truly love the overall feeling of this group, the topics shared and ability to rub shoulders with other fantastic bloggers.

My first post wasn’t written for the topic of reflection, but I think it fits well enough to share. It’s titled “Raising The Bar” and I hope you enjoy it.

Last night we talked with our kids about what it means to raise the bar. It was a good exercise to help them understand what it means and to help them stretch themselves. Their dad retold the story of the father who comes home to see his son practicing the high jump. He had the bar set at the required height to qualify for district competitions and was clearing the jump each time. His dad asked him how it was going and he answered confidently that he could clear the bar with ease. When he then asked how high he’d been able to jump he replied that he hadn’t tried a higher height than the qualification requirement. So he explained to his son that if he never raised the bar he’d never know how high he could jump and succeed.

So often in my life I find myself content to leave the bar at the minimum requirement. At first even that can be challenging, but over time and repetition it gets easier and easier. Yet having the discipline to raise it remains elusive. So last night we talked about ways to raise the bar in our own lives. I helped my 5 year son whittle down the task to one day or thing to get out of the blanket “be good” answer and he decided that he’d set a goal to not whine on Sunday about going to church but to smile and be happy. It’s a good start. *smile* When I asked my 10 year old daughter what she could do she said she could be nicer to her brother. I smiled and asked her how and she replied that she could not yell or fight with him. I told her that was great but that was actually the minimum requirement in our house and challenged her to think of a way she could raise that minimum. After a few minutes she said, “I could help him with his homework or read to him.” I told her that was a beautiful idea.

For myself, I’ve worked on increasing the self-discipline required to get out of bed earlier in the morning. It’s gone well this week and there’s been a notable difference in the peace and kindness in our home before going out the door for school, not to mention starting the day with a clean kitchen sink! The scene was set for good things and then my daughter raised my parental pride meter to the high reds when she showed me how she’d really grasped this concept. She gave her little brother a big hug before leaving, called him ’sugarbug’ and wished him a wonderful day. It sounds small, but this was beyond raising the bar a little compared to the normal hustle and bustle, let alone intolerant comments of mornings past and the entire drive to school was spent hearing him talk about how sweet it was that his sister called him a sugarbug and how nice she was.

I worry about our kids in society today. They have so much at their disposal helping them lower the bar instead of raise it. Learning basic social skills and common civility is lost in the absorption of text messaging, cell phones and other technology communication devices. Stretching their brains and muscles is too often replaced with mindless computer, video games or TV. I don’t think it’s going to be enough for parents in our generation to encourage their kids to play outside once and a while or read a book once and while. I think parents are going to have the raise the bar within their own homes to compensate for these influences. I think parents are going to have to raise the bar for themselves.

The start may be small, but those tiny adjustments at the hinge have big impact on the swing radius at the end of the gate.

Hugs,
Holly